Here is the skunk story

When Hannah was in the first grade, she came home and asked me if I could come to her school and talk to her class about what it was like growing up in Alaska. I told her sure and asked when and what time. So I show up on the set day and time. After I told them all about my childhood in Alaska I asked if anyone had any questions. Well one little girl raised her hand very politely, I called on her and she very sweetly asked if it was true that I was sprayed by a skunk when I was little? I told her that yes it was true and asked if she had a question about Alaska. She said no but she would like to hear the skunk story. Then everyone in the class started saying how they wanted to hear the skunk story. I looked at the teacher Mrs. Norris, she nodded yes. Ok here is how it happened…

When I was about 8 years old we were living in Denton Tx. Like many people from Alaska we did the yoyo thing and my step-father was military so we did a lot of moving around. Well at that time my parents were not getting along very well and we would do anything not to be in the same room with them much less the same car. Our house was walking distance from our church if you cut a cross a cow pasture.

So one Sunday, my older brother asked if the two of us could walk to church and not ride in the car. My mom said yes and my step-dad said we had better not be late and no excuses. We said ok and started off to church.

Well we climbed through the barb wire and into the pasture and here came the dogs. They all about how much fun they were going to have following us to church. Next thing we know the dogs freeze and are looking at something further out in the field. Well the dogs tear out after what ever it was they saw and barking at the top of their lungs. When we get a little closer we see it is a skunk and having just gone through this whole dog and skunk thing about a month earlier, we were all like holy crap! We tore out after the dogs and our fate.

We had four dogs and they were not that bright as they were going after a skunk when they had so recently been on the business end of one.

When we caught up with the dogs they had the skunk surrounded and were barking their heads off. I grabbed two dogs by their collars and my brother grabbed the other two. We were trying to get the dogs away from the skunk but all the skunk saw was that reinforcements had arrived. He started to turn in a circle and let loose with a spray of skunk juice.

When I told this story to Hannah the first time and then to her class I asked if anyone had ever seen a movie or TV show where some one got hit by a skunk and they always show it in slow motion. Everyone always tells me yes. Well that is how it really is, the world just about stops. You can see the droplets coming and all you can do is say “HHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOO NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!.” And BAMB its over and the dogs are heading back to the house at a dead run with their tails between their legs and the skunk is scampering off to reload.

Well we are standing there in the middle of the field wondering what we should do. My brother said “dad said no excuses and this looks like an excuse to me… lets go.”

So we arrive at church a little late and the music part of the service has already started. So we slip in and take seats in the very last or first bench in the back of the church. My dad turns around and gives us that scowl that told us that after church we were going to be in trouble.

Now as we sit there we can watch the movement of our sink as it moves from bench to bench and people turn around to see what the heck was smelling so bad. First it was the bench in front of us then the bench in front of that one and so on until it reached the bench my mom was sitting at. She just kind of turned with sense of “my what is that”. This immediately changed to the look of horror of “MY GOD…. THOSE ARE MY CHILDREN!!!”

She jumped up and came back and got us and took us out of the church and when she ask what on earth possessed us to come in to the church in our condition we said “ well dad said no excuses.”